Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Lady Gaga - Paparazzi

Following on from yesterday's Lily Allen video I also love Lady Gaga's new song and video for Paparazzi. She looks great, I know she's not the prettiest girl in the world but she has a wicked style and I love her hair. I love the metal body suit too. I don't really like her other stuff but this song is really catchy.

This is an extended version of the video. Like a little movie.


Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Lily Allen - 22

I'm loving Lily Allen's new video for her single 22. All the videos from this album have been great, I really like The Fear, but I just adore Lily's 1920's style here, very Louise Brooks. I wish I could go back to the 1920's. Clara Bow was the bomb!

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

I've Been Away

Once again I've not blogged in a while. I was on holiday for a few weeks. Oh my god I needed those two weeks but I've come back and feel like I was never away :( So what have I been up to?

Firstly I've gone blonde. I'm still not sure it was the best idea I've ever had! I went blonde when I was at uni, which coincided with when I was obsessed with Eminem and liked to dress like a bit of a boy. The hairdresser fucked my hair so badly I had to have it all cropped off. For the reason I’ve just stated I didn’t really mind but my family (in particular my brother) started calling me Pat Butcher. Not surprisingly I dyed it back to black fairly sharpish. That was about 10 years ago (fuck I feel old now) and the boyfriend had never seen it blonde, he’d heard the stories but still encouraged me to lighten it again (fuelled by his crush on Jenna Jameson I suspect). I always liked the colour, just not the cut, so I took the (very expensive) plunge. Oh dear.

I was in the hairdresser’s for 7 and a half hours. In that time I had my hair bleached twice and the ends still wouldn’t go any colour but copper. I was meant to be having a messy bob cut but to save me having to be a redhead (that would have washed me out, trust me) I had to have it cut off. It’s not a good cut really. It’s meant to be a very short version of a bob that will grow into the style I want but to be honest it’s more of an overgrown pixie cut gone wrong. I was told they’re a ‘statement salon’ when they were half way through butchering, I mean cutting, my hair. I don’t want a fucking statement on my head thanks very much! Plus since, once again, I fried my hair they can’t bleach it again for two months. It’s meant to be peroxide blonde but won’t be until I have the second bleaching. Aaaaahhhh. Stuck with a yellow mop on my head with black roots. Not so sexy. Thank god I’ve got boobs or I’d have no male attention ever again. The boys at work have started calling me as a little boy. Nice.

So me, the hair and the boyfriend took ourselves off to Cornwall to stay with the in-laws for a week. We had the best weather you could ever imagine. Even I, the office emo, popped on a bikini and sat sunbathing. The only problem with holidays is you treat yourself far too much. I managed to put on a lot of weight that I still can’t bloody shift. This is not helped by the fact that I’ve not done any running or exercise for over a month now (even though my half marathon attempt is getting closer). We then came back to Camden for a week and just lounged around, watching DVD’s, eating even more and drinking even more again. It was heaven.


I’ve managed to catch a few gigs as well. I was double booked to see Air Traffic and Skint & Demoralised on the 18th June. I planned to catch half of both with the aid of a taxi but AT’s tardiness meant I only caught one song before I had to leave (although I hear the gig was an amazing 15 song comeback) and then S&D’s tardiness meant I actually could have caught a lot more of AT. Although I was glad to catch the whole S&D set and you should all go any buy their new single, Red Lipstick, on iTunes NOW!

Last night we went to see La Roux as part of the iTunes Festival. Dan Black supported and I thought they were both really good actually. It’s not really the type of music I tend to like but La Roux has a pretty amazing voice and was really sweet and funny with the crowd. The sound in the Roundhouse was great as well which has got me all excited for my next gig, Placebo and General Fiasco on Tuesday!

Also went to see a few films. Public Enemies is a must see. Excellent direction, fantastic acting and all the guys look proper fit in their suits ;) It had me crying like a baby at the end as well. Transformers 2 was such a letdown. It looked great but made no sense and dragged on for far too long. Plus the comedy Transformers were just a joke – for all the wrong reasons. Still, Shia LaBeouf looked hot! Terminator Salvation was nowhere near as bad as people will have you believe. I’m not sure Christian Bale was the right man for the job and I found the action just too unbelievable but it worked better than Terminator 3 and breathed some new life into the franchise.

That’s it really. I’ve got a busy month ahead so I’m sure there’ll be more updates soon.

Sunday, 24 May 2009

My Tats

I'm a tattoo freak. I love getting them, looking at other peoples, reading books about them, anything. I just got a new one today and so I thought I'd post up some pictures of each of my tattoos and write a little about each one.

The Crow - Let this be a lesson to you all on bad tattooing!

This was the first tattoo I ever got when I was 18. It's pretty tiny and sits at the top of my back on my spine. My mum actually came with me to the tattoo shop and it cost me £25. That should have been a warning right there - cheap, cheap, cheap. The other warning should have been that I got it done in Cheshunt and, trust me, Cheshunt is not known for it's tattoo artists...or much else actually, other than spawning Cliff Richard and the Goss brothers of Bros. fame....again, a sign.

It's meant to be the crow from the film The Crow, it is now, thanks to terrible tattooing in the first place, a black blob. The Crow was one of my first major obsessions and had a huge effect on me when I was a teenager. I can't watch it much and I have to be in a very specific mood to put it on, very few films have that effect on me. I knew this had to be the first tattoo I ever got and at the time thought it would be the only one I'd ever have.

I now need to get it covered because it's so terrible, I still love the film so maybe I'll just get it tidied up with a larger version but to be honest I think a new cover up might be a better idea. God knows what I'll end up with. So let this tattoo be a lesson to you all, go to a decent tattoo artist, pay that bit extra and do your research. An ugly tattoo is with you forever. In theory this tattoo should have been cute and simple, in practise it's a disaster!

Brandon Lee - One of my favourites

Staying with The Crow my next tattoo is inspired by its leading man, Brandon Lee and is on the inside of my wrist. Brandon was Bruce Lee's son and like his father died tragically young. I obviously got into Brandon Lee through The Crow but quickly tracked down his other films and started reading up about him. He's a real cult hero of mine and for years I wanted his name on me.

Now I hate Chinese symbols, having peace or love written on you in another language just because it looks pretty is just not appealing to me and I think it looks tacky. People probably think this tattoo is tacky for that very reason but let me explain a little about it. Because Brandon was half Chinese he was given an English and a Cantonese name. Sometimes I don't think people get that my wrist doesn't say 'Brandon Lee', it says 'Lee Kwok Ho' which translates to 'National Hero Lee', just like Bruce Lee's Cantonese name was 'Little Dragon'.

When I got this tattoo I was so happy. It's still one of my favourites because Brandon was a big part of my teenage years, huge in fact, and although it's not the most impressive or even well done of my tattoos it really does mean a lot to me.


MCR and Stars - Fandom to the extreme?

Anyone who knows me knows that My Chemical Romance are my life. They are a band I would die for, they're all amazing musicians and people and Gerard Way is my ultimate hero for a number of reasons. I was late getting into them but man did I get into them. Within two weeks of hearing their music I was booked in for this tattoo. It sits on the front of my wrist, on the same arm as my Brandon Lee tattoo.

It was originally done in Birmingham when I was living up in Coventry and it was done pretty badly to be honest so when I moved back down to London I got my tattoo guy to tidy it up and later he added some stars. There are meant to be more stars actually but I never got round to going back so it'll get finished when that arm eventually becomes a sleeve. I quite like this tattoo but my boyfriend isn't so keen, he loves MCR but just thinks the tattoo is a little weak. Maybe it is. It says a lot about me though....mainly that I'm an MCR fan who isn't afraid to show their love despite the often negative feelings people have towards the band.

Bats - Vampires, Batman, MCR...and just bats!

This was my first big tattoo and is in fact a rather extreme cover up. I used to have some barbed wire around my wrist. Barbed wire has no relevance in my life, I always like Pamela Anderson's tattoo but to be fair I'm no Pamela Anderson and at the time I did not have the cash to spend on decent tattoos like Pammy. So I was stuck with a rather wonky, slightly blue, pretty ugly tattoo and I needed it covered. By this time I had just started working in Camden, I had some cash, so I spent out.

Now I'm a vampire addict and a Batman fan so bats have always seemed pretty cool to me. On top of that MCR's first and second albums are vampire related and the first even states 'Unleash the fucking bats' so bats it was....up my arm. It wasn't the most pleasant experience. It took a good few hours because it's solid black but I was quite proud that I sat through it fairly comfortably while the huge bloke getting the top of his arm done next to me had to have a break because he felt light headed...twice.

The healing was a nightmare though. My arm was swollen for about a week and I couldn't put it down or the pressure would cause pain. The thick black around my wrist turned into a kind of cuff that would not expand so the rest of my arm ached. Plus it itched like a bitch!

I get a lot of compliments about this tattoo and thanks to it I've met one of my best mates so it means a lot. It's not terribly feminine but neither am I really so it kind of works.



MCR Face- I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

This is another MCR tattoo. It's on the inside of my arm, above the Brandon Lee one. I actually did it on a complete whim which was risky and not advised. I had some cash (oh those were the days) and wanted some lyrics on my arm but couldn't find a decent font. In the end I just pulled out all of my MCR stuff and decided that the face from the I'm Not Okay (I Promise) single would make a good tattoo.

My tattooist is great and did a really good job. It was my first tattoo in colour, something I thought I'd never have, so felt like a big step but I was so pleased with the result. It healed up nice and quick which is always a bonus too. It's really hard to get a good photo of this one and it really does look better in the flesh.


Lyrics - Ouch my poor ribs

This one hurt a lot! It was only an hour and a half but my word it was uncomfortable. The worst bit wasn't even my ribs, it was the little bit of fat on my hip. I swore to myself I'd never have my ribs done again but you soon forget that when you're all healed up so who knows.

This is an MCR lyric, surprise surprise, and says "This hole you put me in wasn't deep enough and I'm climbing out right now, you're running out of places to hide from me." It's probably got the most meaning to me out of all of my tattoos. It represents that fact that I've not always been the strongest person in the world, I've suffered depression, been on meds, self harmed and not had a very healthy relationship with food but I've never stayed down, I've tried to fight back to be where I am today...a reasonably stable, content place. It's also a little 'fuck you' to all of the people that made snide comments about the way I looked or dressed at school, the people who said I was going through a phase. It's to show everyone and most of all myself that I am who I am, I'm not ashamed and I've actually done okay for myself.

It needs a touch up, it's a little patchy because the ribs are a hard place to heal without peeling, but I've been putting it off. Haha, I'm a wimp!

Swallows - Family

This tattoo is quite obviously on my chest. Getting something there was a big decision but actually one I made fairly quickly, it just felt right. I'd been watching Miami Ink and seen Ami James do two swallow tattoos, one I loved the shape of, it was very traditional but I hated the colour, blue, the other was a less attractive shape but an amazing green, it was less traditional but just stunning. So I tracked down an image of both and got my tattoo guy to combine the two.

Originally I wanted text between them, it was was going to say 'Thank You For The Venom'. I'm so glad he never got the email I sent containing the text. I decided I'd come back another day to have it added but I got home and loved the simplicity of them and I never went back.

They hurt. They took three hours and my tattoo guy said, "Are you ready for the pain?" as I sat down. This guy is huge and covered in tats so if he says somethings going to hurt then it probably will. I'm not saying it was unbearable but definitely not comfortable. They healed up so quickly and nicely though, no need for touch ups and I get a lot of compliments on them too.

Swallows are traditional sailor tattoos, they represent family and home. I've always been very close to my family and my grandfather died in WW2 fighting in the navy so they seemed quite fitting. Both of my grandmothers passed away, one just before I got this tattoo, so I think of each of the swallows as representing them.


Rumor - The new one

My newest tattoo I got today. It's just behind my ear/ top of my neck. My tattoo shop wouldn't normally do this tattoo as it's classed as a neck tattoo and they can be frowned upon but since I'm a little older and a regular customer (and I'm pretty covered in tats anyway) they agreed to do it.

It's from The Umbrella Academy, Gerard Way's award winning comic book. It's Rumor's logo, her emblem, like Superman's 'S'. Rumor is my favourite character and when I met Gerard he asked me who my favourite character was. I told him and he said, "Mine too!" So that's my reason for getting it. It's small and cute and was a pleasure to get. It took 5 minutes and I didn't even feel it, not at all, it was heaven!



I'm already planning my next one but need to save some pennies. I have a fair few ideas, some gypsy heads on my feet, a zombie pin-up, but first some traditional roses with a Gallows lyric and some artwork. Who knows how I'll turn out.

Friday, 22 May 2009

Little Catch Up

I really neglect this blog, last time I wrote anything I'd just been to Camden Crawl, that was like a month ago, so I should update everyone on what's been going on since then.

Firstly I tried to get fit and healthy. This mainly involved me not drinking and putting my new running shoes to good use around Regents Park.
I managed 3 full weeks with no booze, which isn't easy when you live in Camden, work for a company that embraces a drinking culture and class the Hawley Arms as your second home. I managed to slowly start getting better at running, although to be honest my lungs felt like they were going to implode. I haven't smoked for at least 7 years, and even then it was never much, but oh my god my lungs don't like exercise. Never the less I was loving popping on my ipod and trying to find my 'power song'  to run to, so far it's a toss up between half the songs on the new Lily Allen album and Gallows 'The Vulture'. It all went tits-up when a gig I was going to on Monday got cancelled, Skint & Demoralised at the Camden Roundhouse, and we ended up having a bit of a drinking session with Mr. Skint himself, Matt Abbott. We got a rather intimate spoken word session with him in the beer garden (see video and ignore my ridiculous laughing and cackling in the background).


So that was the end of my health streak. I've not had a hangover like the one I had the next day for years. You don't even want to know how ill I was. I wouldn't mind but that much alcohol wouldn't have had much effect on me 3 weeks earlier so trying to be healthy actually made me sick....well that's my excuse anyway.

I also managed to catch a really odd gig on Tuesday night with my mate Sam. We went to the Lock Tavern to try and see Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong do a dj set but ended up leaving after the first two bands. The first was great but we didn't catch their name, bloody typical, the second was called something like Sparky and the something or other deathcap. Oh my god it was the most surreal experience of my life, he had an OHP! So we left and got chips instead which just fucked up my diet even more....along with the pint of cider.

Next came Gallows at Kentish Town Forum. Fucking amazing, out of this world, perfection! That band are fantastic live, they give everything and Frank Carter is so engaging. The only down side was we were up top and you can't stand up up there, we eventually did for the last couple of songs but I'm sure it was way more fun down the front. I managed to spend £30 on merch and have a pint so this time my purse was feeling the pain as well as my liver. I left adamant that a Gallows tattoo is the way forward and I'm searching for a great lyric and an image to pull together as a start of my sleeve.


I also went drinking Friday and Saturday, as well as shopping, so I pretty much cleared my bank account and the health streak is dead and buried. Next steps? Polish off the vegan cakes I bought yesterday, finish this blog and go for a run. Well, maybe I'll have a nap first. 

This week maybe wasn't my finest, god I did some stupid things, but it sure as hell was a lot of fun.

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Camden Crawl

Last weekend saw my beloved Camden host its beloved Crawl. We had weekend passes and so did our friends so my flat was like a hostel with two bodies on the sofa bed and a body at the bottom of our bed. Cosy. But I tried to be a good hostess, I made tea and toast on Saturday morning. Sunday I was tired and grumpy so everyone had to fend for themselves. Sorry guys.

The problem with Camden Crawl is you think it's going to be a whole day long event but actually you get your map at 11am and then have to find something to do until the bands start playing at 6pm. Sure there are things going on during the day but they're not promoted like the main acts so I'm sure we missed a few hidden gems. Thank fuck for the Halwey Arms is all I can say. Lovely Dougie treated us like rockstars (Halstars ;)) and gave us some free drinks and let us queue jump lots the whole weekend. Thank you Dougie. The Halwey had loads of live music throughout the day and I managed to catch Sam McCarthy's set both nights, featuring Dee Plume (wearing and amazing Kiss jacket) on Saturday. We also trotted around aimlessly and managed to bump into George Craig which was quite random but a nice surprise.

We were adamant we wanted to see General Fiasco at Dublin Castle as our first proper gig on Friday and so got there about an hour and a half early. We were first in the queue at the doors and then 10 minutes before the gig starts they tell us all to get out as the queue will start outside. Bastards. This meant the people at the back were now at the front and by the time we got outside we were right at the back. We managed to finally get in and caught the last 3 songs. Luckily GF were playing Saturday at the much bigger Electric Ballroom and so we managed to catch them there. They were great and I'm looking forward to seeing them back in London on the 6th May.

Next up we went to see Skint & Demoralised. I'd only ever heard one song and was really surprised, Matt Abbott is much better live and we managed to catch him on the Myspace Bus too, although we were outside.
Skint & Demoralised

I think we'll go and see him when he hits Camden next, I'm now following him on Twitter and find his rhyming tweets hilarious. I know I'm a loser and I have been told off already for liking S&D. The only other band I saw was Daniel P Carter's band Hexes. Oh my god they were too good and if you like a bit of hardcore I'd give them a listen.

So that's it really. Throw in a few badges, some humous and chips, a lot of cider, a Subway, late night McDonalds, running down Camden High Street (twice, don't ask), getting asked for id at KOKO and probably a million other random things and you have my Camden Crawl weekend. I'm sure I could have seen more bands and made the more of it but we had a laugh and the sun was out so it was all good.

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

My New Running Shoe

I've decided I can't afford the gym every month but I really do need to get fit. I luckily have Regents Park just 5 minutes up the road from me and the gloriously piss/vomit covered streets of Camden town at my disposal so I've decided to start running. I thought about running a while ago but it was cold then and I don't like the cold (I carry a hotwater bottle around work the way others carry notepads) but now the sun has come out I think I can handle being out in the open for more than 5 minutes without crying. Also, according to George Craig, it improves your skin, I have terrible skin so this is a huge bonus. Plus if he can run 30 miles in a week then I bloody well can, my thighs surely hold more power in them than his little sticks.

I'm not a jogging bottom and trainer kind of girl and never have been. Personally I think if you wear jogging bottoms in public you are officially classed as a chav. I don't want to be classed as a chav so I've been and bought some leggings. Leggings are surely the sports equivalent of the skinny jean. Right? I also asked Adam if I could run in Converse, he said no. Also I think running in my usual footwear would just look like me running around Regents Park randomly rather than me trying to get fit and I might look a bit mental (I run a bit weird) so I had to start the search for a trainer. What a nightmare. I don't wear leather and I only wanted black so my options were limited. I asked my Twitter followers for suggestions and received the grand total of zero replies. Bastards. Adidas, my sports brand of choice, was a dead end and so I moved on to Nike. Oh how I now love Nike. Not only did I find a trainer made of synthetic material but I also found out I could personalise them! I chose to make the whole trainer black apart from, and this is the best bit (or the most pathetic bit, you choose), I have a pink 'ONO' on the top of one tongue and a pink 'MCR' on the other tongue. I have to wait 28 days, which really does halt my fitness regime, but it's going to be so worth it. So very worth it. I'm sure I'll be able to run faster, get fitter and lose more weight just through having my favourite bands names embroidered on to my running shoe.

Here's a picture of what they should look like. I'm sure this image does them no justice as I can assure you they really will be the best trainers EVER!



Now where do I put my house keys and iPhone?

Monday, 6 April 2009

The Vulture

Gallows are just unbelievably good in my eyes. I cannot wait for their new album Grey Britain. This is their new single. I love this video, Frank Carter looks wicked in a suit. I'm seeing them on 21st May and if the last time I saw them is anything to go by they'll be brilliant.


Saturday, 28 March 2009

My Heroines

I could have called this 'My Heroes' but I only have one real male hero and that's Gerard Way who I chat about far too much on here and is leagues above anyone else in the world to me so I thought I'd write about the really strong amazing women that inspire me. The list might look a little shallow but all of these woman have worked hard to get where they are, they're successful, beautiful, talented and, I'm sure, more intelligent than most people give them credit for.

First it has to be Kat Von D. She's an amazing artist who started tattooing at the age of 14 and never stopped. She's a rebel that made something of herself and never gave up on her dream, that's really inspiring. I'd love to get a Kat Von D pin-up girl tattoo one day, just need to save some pennies.

She adores music and is metal through and through. Her style is totally unique and she looks like she can party hard. She's also a hopeless romantic. She goes against the 'normal' perception of beauty as she's got tattoos head to toe but I think she's more beautiful than any supermodel or Hollywood actress.

Next, Dita Von Teese. I love burlesque and I love classic glamour and Dita is both of these. Again she's a woman who worked hard to follow her dream and succeeded. We got to see her strip at the Erotica exhibition a few years ago and she was such a professional. She's pale, interesting and curvy which I adore. She makes me want to paint my nails red, flick up my eyeliner and walk around the house naked! I won't though, don't worry.

Courtney Love is most people's idea of a fuck up. Years of drug abuse, botched plastic surgery and a pretty disastrous love life. That's why I love her though. She's still here, still putting out music and getting on with stuff despite all the setbacks. Plus I think she looks so cool, she's a style icon! Celebrity Skin is one of my favourite albums ever, her voice is perfect and I'm listening to it right now.

I couldn't choose just one pic.
If it wasn't for Bettie Page there would be no Dita Von Teese or even modern glamour modelling as we know it. She was the first real pin-up girl and was famous for fetish shoots and basically getting naked in the 1940's and 50's. She did it all with a sense of fun and zero shame. She was years ahead of her time and her style still looks classic today.
There seems to be a lot of half naked ladies on my blog and here's one more. Pamela Anderson. I adore her. She's not only a great glamour model but a really great mum and animal rights activist. I adore animals and she does a lot of really important work with Peta. Whenever I see her in interviews she's just really sweet and down to earth, not fake at all. She's been going for years and still looks amazing!
I can't have a list of heroines with Marilyn Monroe. A true beauty who I'm sure did some pretty shocking things to succeed but maintained a sense of innocent and wit. Her untimely death means she'll forever be a sexy blond bombshell. She can do no wrong in my eyes.
Here's a curve ball. Lindsay Lohan. I'm sure time will tell and right now I don't think she's having her finest hour but she intrigues me. Mean Girls shows how great she can be and if you've not seen it then you have to! She's grown up in Hollywood and the spotlight and I think that would fuck up most people (Drew Barrymore, Britney Spears....) but after rehab and family troubles I think she'll be back on form soon. She's one to watch and I really can't stop reading about her.
Finally, I've mentioned before that I have a guilty pleasure and that's Geri Halliwell. The girl will not give up! She knows she can't sing great, or dance well and she's awkward and...well the list goes on, but she just keeps putting herself out there and having a go. She's always been open and honest about her eating disorders and as someone who has never had a very healthy relationship with food I really admire that. I got to meet her at a book signing and she was so sweet (and she liked my Batman top!). She's a mum now but I'm sure we'll be seeing more of Geri, she just can't help herself.



Sunday, 22 February 2009

Friday the 13th - Spoilers!

I took a break from packing boxes last night and ventured out to the cinema. I wanted to see "Friday the 13th", the boyfriend did not, I won. Now I've seen the original, I wouldn't call myself a fan but I can certainly see it's charm, and it has some great effects. Jason is undoubtedly a horror icon and although he doesn't really appear in the original, deciding to remake the film with him as the actual killer was always going to work (if you think the film should have been remade at all that is).

After the usual asbo's settling down to start their conversation, having a quick chat on their mobiles and security arriving to tell them to shut up or get out we finally managed to start watching the film (luckily it didn't take much concentration or I might have missed a few key points of the story thanks to those little fuck-wits at the back).

Now I haven't seen the original in years so I may have missed a few nice little references here and there but I'm pretty sure there weren't many of them, if any at all. I was really impressed with a few of the deaths, being tied up in a sleeping bag over the camp fire was pretty nasty (although a little un-Jason like if you ask me) but most of the stuff had been seen and done before. Jason did seem to pop up everywhere, very quickly which worked well I thought and made any form of escape seem unlikely...which in most cases it was! There was a load of gratuitous breast flaunting, which I quite enjoy in a slasher pic although it did verge on the ridiculous as this isn't an exploitation b-movie, or even a small studio movie, it's a huge Hollywood production with Michael Bay at the helm, he's no Tarantino so doesn't quite get away with it.

Stuff I didn't like about the film. As with all of these remakes (often Michael Bay related) they try to over analyse the killer and they can't resist unmasking him! Now I know we've seen glimpses of Jason before and I know he does have a back story but they really over played it here. This isn't "Psycho"! Also why would he keep Whitney alive in his lair (which I'll come back to in a bit)? You're kind of made to assume it's because she resembles his mother which again just doesn't work and gives Jason too much of a heart. I don't like it, he's a mental killing machine for God's sake! On to the lair. Oh my God why do all these new horrors have underground lairs, full of rats and maze-like layouts? Do you really think these dudes have the time or the inclination to dig out miles of tunnels under their houses so that they have somewhere to brood and hold women hostage?! Oh course they don't, the whole point is that they're creepy guys who live in the woods, or the middle of nowhere just waiting for their next kill. They inhabit places we'd normally feel safe or at least familiar with, that's what makes them scary and what in turn makes these underground dungeons so unscary! These new films see the victims looking around weird houses covered in items belonging to the killers childhood far too much. This is where remakes like "House of Wax" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" just go too far, I just want my killers to have no motive, pop up anywhere and everywhere and cut up naked girls, I don't need a back story, I don't need a lair and I don't need them to have a heart!

The film was okay, nothing spectacular but a decent Saturday night out. If you've never seen the original (like my boyfriend) you'll probably enjoy it more but people with a bit of classic slasher knowledge will find it a little lacking. Word on the street (okay Empire magazine) is that they're remaking "A Nightmare on Elmstreet". Noooooooo! They're not using Robert Englund and that man is Freddy Krueger. I can tell you now that film will be terrible, Freddy is the greatest horror icon on all, you don't fuck with Freddy! Jason, it's too late for you my friend.