Sunday, 22 February 2009

Friday the 13th - Spoilers!

I took a break from packing boxes last night and ventured out to the cinema. I wanted to see "Friday the 13th", the boyfriend did not, I won. Now I've seen the original, I wouldn't call myself a fan but I can certainly see it's charm, and it has some great effects. Jason is undoubtedly a horror icon and although he doesn't really appear in the original, deciding to remake the film with him as the actual killer was always going to work (if you think the film should have been remade at all that is).

After the usual asbo's settling down to start their conversation, having a quick chat on their mobiles and security arriving to tell them to shut up or get out we finally managed to start watching the film (luckily it didn't take much concentration or I might have missed a few key points of the story thanks to those little fuck-wits at the back).

Now I haven't seen the original in years so I may have missed a few nice little references here and there but I'm pretty sure there weren't many of them, if any at all. I was really impressed with a few of the deaths, being tied up in a sleeping bag over the camp fire was pretty nasty (although a little un-Jason like if you ask me) but most of the stuff had been seen and done before. Jason did seem to pop up everywhere, very quickly which worked well I thought and made any form of escape seem unlikely...which in most cases it was! There was a load of gratuitous breast flaunting, which I quite enjoy in a slasher pic although it did verge on the ridiculous as this isn't an exploitation b-movie, or even a small studio movie, it's a huge Hollywood production with Michael Bay at the helm, he's no Tarantino so doesn't quite get away with it.

Stuff I didn't like about the film. As with all of these remakes (often Michael Bay related) they try to over analyse the killer and they can't resist unmasking him! Now I know we've seen glimpses of Jason before and I know he does have a back story but they really over played it here. This isn't "Psycho"! Also why would he keep Whitney alive in his lair (which I'll come back to in a bit)? You're kind of made to assume it's because she resembles his mother which again just doesn't work and gives Jason too much of a heart. I don't like it, he's a mental killing machine for God's sake! On to the lair. Oh my God why do all these new horrors have underground lairs, full of rats and maze-like layouts? Do you really think these dudes have the time or the inclination to dig out miles of tunnels under their houses so that they have somewhere to brood and hold women hostage?! Oh course they don't, the whole point is that they're creepy guys who live in the woods, or the middle of nowhere just waiting for their next kill. They inhabit places we'd normally feel safe or at least familiar with, that's what makes them scary and what in turn makes these underground dungeons so unscary! These new films see the victims looking around weird houses covered in items belonging to the killers childhood far too much. This is where remakes like "House of Wax" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" just go too far, I just want my killers to have no motive, pop up anywhere and everywhere and cut up naked girls, I don't need a back story, I don't need a lair and I don't need them to have a heart!

The film was okay, nothing spectacular but a decent Saturday night out. If you've never seen the original (like my boyfriend) you'll probably enjoy it more but people with a bit of classic slasher knowledge will find it a little lacking. Word on the street (okay Empire magazine) is that they're remaking "A Nightmare on Elmstreet". Noooooooo! They're not using Robert Englund and that man is Freddy Krueger. I can tell you now that film will be terrible, Freddy is the greatest horror icon on all, you don't fuck with Freddy! Jason, it's too late for you my friend.

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